Oh Morphius, Where Art Thou?
by morphius
Summary: With Morphius gone, the Inuyasha gang has become bored. So they travel halfway across the world to go see her! What will happen along the way? Sequel to Going Nowhere Fast: A Pointless Fanfic.
1. The Hunt Begins

**Oh Morphius, Where Art Thou?**  
By Morphius 

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I don't own any of the Inuyasha characters, ok? Rumiko Takahashi does. I also don't own the President, George Carlin (he's a comedian and all his lines are somewhat based off of his jokes), Ash from Evil Dead, Yusuke Urameshi of Yu Yu Hakusho, or Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?. So… that's my disclaimer and don't sue me. 

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Inuyasha & the gang have just been ditched by Morphius. They're not even entirely certain whether the whole affair really took place. 

Shippo: What just happened?   
Miroku: It appears that Morphius has abandoned us.  
Kagome: I can't believe it. She's really gone.   
Inuyasha: Who cares? We're free from that psycho! 

Everyone hits Inuyasha. 

Inuyasha: Ow. Kagome: Sure Morphius was pure evil and made our lives miserable, but without her, it feels… so empty.   
Sango: It's like we don't have a purpose in life anymore.   
Inuyasha: Wait a minute! How do we even know she exists? It could've been some freaky ass dream or something.  
Shippo: Look guys! 

Shippo is holding Morphius' wallet, which, in reality, is chock-full of cash. (A/N: It's not really, so don't ask me for money) 

Inuyasha: Her wallet…   
Miroku: So, she really does exist.   
Sango: Yeah, she exists. But how do we find her?   
Kagome: Look! It's a student ID card! It says she lives in New Jersey.  
Inuyasha: Wait, where?  
Miroku: I've never heard of this Jersey place.  
Kagome: It's sounds like it's in the United States.   
Everyone: The united what?  
Kagome: United States of America. It's a country in my time.  
Sango: So let me get this straight.   
Miroku: We would have to return to your time and travel to a foreign and unfamiliar land.  
Shippo: To find one evil, twisted person.  
Miroku: And convince her to come back and torture us.  
Kagome: Yeah.  
Everyone: Ok.   
Inuyasha: You want Morphius back? What morons! 

Everyone hits Inuyasha. 

Inuyasha: Cut that out!   
Kagome: There's no time to lose. We have to get through the well! 

The gang runs toward the bone eater's well. Everyone jumps through it. Inuyasha, Kagome, and Miroku climb out of the well. The others are nowhere to be seen. 

Kagome: *looking into the well* Where did Sango and Shippo go?  
Inuyasha: *shrug*   
Miroku: Perhaps something stopped them from passing through the well.  
Inuyasha: Really genius? *sitting against wall* Why should we care? They'd only get in our way.   
Kagome: Sit boy! 

Inuyasha faceplants into the dirt. 

Kagome: You two wait here. I'll get Sango and Shippo. 

She jumps into the well and comes back a minute later with Sango and Shippo. 

Kagome: So everyone's here.  
Inuyasha: I'm gonna kill her for chickening out on our bet! Let's go!  
Sango: Inuyasha?  
Inuyasha: Yes?   
Miroku: How do you propose we obtain the funds to get there?   
Inuyasha: Uh… I… didn't really think of that. This wasn't my idea y'know!  
Shippo: We'll use this!   
Miroku: Morphius' wallet.   
Kagome: *shaking head* It's not right. We can't spend Morphius' money without her permission.  
Sango: We have her permission. Look. It was in the wallet. 

She hands Kagome a scrap of paper 

Kagome: *reading* A little something to keep you guys on your toes. Good luck. Your Supreme Lord and Master, Morphius.  
Shippo: But… but.   
Miroku: She's doing it again. She's toying with us.  
Inuyasha: Yeah. Stupid…  
Sango: *cutting Inuyasha off* Does she know what's going on?   
Shippo: Probably.   
Inuyasha: We can ask her when we get there.   
Kagome: We're going to have to fly though.   
Miroku: Fly?   
Kagome: Yeah. In an airplane.   
Everyone: What?   
Kagome: It's like a big metal bird that you get in and it can fly you places.   
Shippo: Will it eat me? Because I'm very small.  
Kagome: No, Shippo. It can't eat you.   
Shippo: Phew.   
Inuyasha: She's lying. Of course it can.   
Shippo: Gah!   
Kagome: Sit boy! 

Inuyasha falls to the ground. 

Inuyasha: Stop doing that!   
Kagome: He's joking Shippo-chan. There's nothing to worry about. Now we have to take a taxi to the airport.  
Sango: A what to the where?   
Kagome: I forgot how new this must be to you guys. Relax and just follow my lead. 

Kagome walks into the downtown area and hails a cab. The four normal sized people and Shippo are forced to squeeze into the back of one cab. 

Kagome: The airport please. 

The driver eyes the five of them suspiciously, but drives on. 

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Review and tell me whether or not I should keep going. Please tell me I should cuz then the remaining sequels will be a total waste. 


	2. Airport Amusement!

**Oh Morphius, Where Art Thou?**  
By Morphius 

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Hey all... one of my fans. Much thanks to lazy kitsune, the only one who bothered to review. WHERE ARE ALL THE PEOPLE WHO READ MY LAST FIC?!?!?! You know who you are, you begged for a sequel, and now you're not reviewing? And as for _you_ lazy kitsune... Why is it that you have not read and/or reviewed my previous fic? ANSWER ME DAMN IT!!! Sorry, I'm just feeling sick today. Arrrgh... Chapter two is up. Arrrgh... Oh yeah, I don't own Inuyasha, kay? 

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** Chapter Two: Airport Amusement!**

Inuyasha: Kagome move over!  
Kagome: I can't! _You_ move over!  
Sango: Shippo, can you get off of my leg?  
Shippo: But I'm not on your leg.   
Sango: You're not? But then... YOU PERVERT!! *smack*  
Miroku: @_@   
Shippo: *pokes Miroku* I think you killed him.  
Driver: *mumbling* Dear God take me now. *louder* We're here.   
Everyone: Yes!

The five of them step out of the cab. 

Kagome: *handing driver money* Thank you sir. 

The driver speeds off. The Inuyasha gang walks into the airport and those from Feudal Japan are forced to shield their eyes from the blinding fluorescent lights. Eventually, their eyes adjust and they stare in awe. 

Shippo: Whoa.   
Sango: This place is so big.  
Miroku: Yeah.

They follow Kagome walks over to the ticket counter. 

Kagome: Excuse me. When is your next flight to the United States?   
Ticket Saleswoman: *beaming* Where were you thinking of going?  
Miroku: *grabbing her hand* Anywhere you might be going.   
Sango: *hitting him with the hiraikotsu* You pervert!   
Miroku: Ow.  
Ticket Saleswoman: *ignoring them, still beaming* You're in luck. We have a flight to New York that leaves in an hour.  
Kagome: We'll take four tickets.  
Ticket Saleswoman: Coach?   
Kagome: Coach is fine.   
Ticket Saleswoman: That will be $475. 

Kagome hands the saleswoman money. She hands them their tickets and the gang follows Kagome towards the gate. But before that, they go through the metal detector. Kagome, carrying Shippo, walked through and nothing happened. But when Miroku walked through, the alarm beeped loudly.   
Security guard: Will you remove any metal objects; loose change, keys, cell phone, anything like that?   
Miroku: Uh…   
Kagome: *whispering* The staff.   
Miroku: Oh. 

He hands staff to guard and walks through. 

Miroku: *taking staff back* Thank you.   
Security guard: Hold it. Why do you have something like that anyhow?   
Miroku: Uh…  
Kagome: He has a bad leg and that helps him walk.  
Security guard: Weird. He looks fine to me. But… oh, all right. Next. 

Sango walks through and the alarm goes off. 

Security guard: Please remove any metal objects; loose change, keys, cell phone, anything like that… 

Sango shrugs, then hands him her katana. 

Security guard: O_O Miss, I'm afraid you can't keep this on the plane.   
Sango: But…   
Security guard: *pushing her through* Next. 

Inuyasha walks through and the alarm goes off again. 

Security guard: *sigh, dull flat voice* Remove any metal objects; loose change, keys, cell phone…   
Inuyasha: I got none of that.  
Security guard: The sword.  
Inuyasha: Oh, right.

The security guard takes the sword and pulls it from the sheath. 

Security guard: What the? This piece of junk can't cut, let alone kill.  
Kagome: Exactly. It's an antique Japanese sword.  
Security guard: Uh… fine. You people are weird. What's with the crazy getups? You in a play or something?   
Kagome: *nervous smile* Yeah. That's it. So we'll be going. 

They run off. Sango grabs her katana without the guard noticing. 

Security guard: What freaks. So now then… wait! That chick took her sword back! *sigh* Screw it. My job's hard enough as is. 

He sits down and takes a nap. As he snoozes, a shadowy figure walks over and hits a switch, setting the alarm off. The guard bolts awake and looks around. Finding nothing, he goes back to sleep. The mysterious person hits it several times. 

Security guard: *standing up* DAMN IT! STOP DOING THAT!!! 

Everyone stares at him. 

Security guard: Uh... nice day today, isn't it?  
Shadowy figure: He he he. 

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You like? And don't ask who the shadowy figure is, cuz I don't know. The last bit was added right before I posted this, so it's probably not all that good. Sorry if this is short, I'm really tired and sick and miserable and I'll stop rambling now. Later. 


	3. People, I need YOUR help

Fans, we have a problem. I had the finished copy of 'Oh Morphius, where art thou?' Chapter Three written when I noticed something most horrifying. 

ALL astericks were gone. 

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!?!?! CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHO I CAN COMPLAIN TO ABOUT THE INHERENT LACK OF ASTERICKS? Are they really gone or is the previewer simply unable to show them? The few fans I have, please someone answer this question by telling me whether or not you can see any astericks. Or I could look myself, but I'm trying to see, after not updating for months, If I still have any fans. 

Review and solve the mystery! 


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